一、听说柿子和螃蟹一起吃会中毒 有点想不开柿子都准备好了 现在就差螃蟹 有没有看我不顺眼的寄几斤螃蟹给我
I heard that persimmons and crabs will be poisoned together. I can ’ t think of persimmons. I ’ m ready now. I ’ m not looking at the crabs. I ’ m not pleasing to the eye. Send me a few pounds of crabs
二、当有人惹你生气时，深吸一口气，从10开始倒数 数到7时就一拳打向他的咽喉，他肯定不会想到的
When someone makes you angry, take a deep breath and punch him in the throat from the count down to 7. He won think of it
三、有些朋友从不联系你 除了突然丢给你一个链接 叫你帮他投票 人与人之间本不该如此冷漠 这时候我总是会点开链接 进去投他的竞争对手一票.
Some friends never contact you, except for suddenly throwing you a link asking you to help him. Voters should not be so indifferent between people. At this time, I always click on the link to vote for his competitors.
四、夏天的风我永远记得，清清楚楚的说要热死我
I always remember the summer wind, clearly said to heat me up
五、先是朋友后是妹儿，最后通通是小宝贝
First friends, then sisters, and finally all babies
六、别看现在的年轻人挺穷的 但他们可是掌握了一百种犒劳自己的理由
Don look at the young people today, they are poor, but they have a hundred reasons to treat themselves
七、其实我是一个作家 没写过啥书 就是特能作
Actually, Im a writer. Ive never written a book. Im a writer
八、有翅膀的不一定是天使也可能是蚊子
It doesn have to be an angel to have wings. It could be a mosquito
九、最近在使用增高药 效果还挺明显的 高了两三厘米 就是一粒一粒的放在鞋里面有点硌脚
Recently, the effect of using the heightening medicine is quite obvious. Two or three centimeters higher is a little bit lame in the shoes
十、以前年少轻狂 现在不了 还是狂 就是不轻了
I used to be young and frivolous. Now I can . Im still crazy. Im just not young
十一、小时候我妈教我用筷子，半天学不会她就打我 现在长大了，我教她用手机半天她学不会她还是打我
When I was a child, my mother taught me to use chopsticks. She couldn ’ t learn to beat me for a long time. Now I have grown up. I taught her to use her mobile phone for a long time. She can ’ t learn her or beat me
十二、等我有钱了 买桶泡面吃 只吃面 汤都不喝直接倒了
When I get rich, Ill buy a bucket of instant noodles, eat only noodles and soup, and then Ill just pour it out.
十三、凡事想想自己配不配 这句话很有道理 我仔细想了想 诶 我还真配
It makes sense to think about whether you deserve it or not. Ive thought about it. I deserve it
十四、想学网上跟朋友去野餐，刚把野餐布铺好，东西放上，大爷就来问西红柿多少钱一斤？
I want to learn how to go on a picnic with my friends online. I just laid out the picnic cloth and put the things on it. the uncle came to ask how much is a kilo of tomatoes?
十五、请手机自我检讨一下，为什么总是拉着我一起熬夜
Please self-review the phone, why always pull me to stay up late
十六、跟男生聊天还不如逛淘宝，淘宝推的都是我喜欢的，男生说的话没有一句是我喜欢听
的It is better to visit Taobao when chatting with boys. I like everything Taobao pushes, and I like nothing the boys say.
十七、有的人劝解我看人不要看脸，难道我看五脏六腑？
Some people advised me not to look at peoples faces. Do I look at the internal organs?
十八、庆余年里范闲不是穿越的吗 那他怎么没认出庆帝是陈道明呢？
In the Qing Dynasty, Fan Xian did not cross? Then why did he not recognize Qing Emperor as Chen Daoming?
十九、我是古玩店老板，见谁都叫宝贝的那种
Im an antique shop owner. I call everyone baby
二十、你才是初恋，他们都是排练。
You e the first love. They e rehearsing.
二十一、我当然很忙，我要吃饭睡觉打游戏 我要洗澡洗脸化妆 还要上班挣钱 那如果你发一句在吗 我倒也没那么忙
Of course Im busy. I have to eat, sleep, play games. I have to take a shower, wash my face, make up, and go to work to make money. So if you send a message, Im not that busy
二十二、忍不住拆开了一包辣条，吃到一半更难受了看了看名字，原来是香坛莲爱辣
Can help but open a pack of spicy strips, eat half more uncomfortable looked at the name, turned out to be sweet altar lotus love spicy
二十三、真搞不懂一些人怎么一直找野王，就不能自己练？如果有野王愿意带我，那当我没说
I really don understand why some people have been looking for wild king and can practice by themselves. If there is a wild king willing to take me, then when I didn say
