1、以后再也不去电影院了，几十块钱一张票连灯都舍不得开。
I will never go to the cinema again. I can even turn on the lights for a ticket of dozens of yuan.
2、一条狗喝了水之后开始发情，原来他喝了，汪情水。
A dog after drinking water began to oestrus, it turned out that he drank, Wang Qingshui.
3、谈恋爱很累的，要约会，要分享喜乐，要吵架，要计划未来。
Love is very tired, to date, to share joy, to quarrel, to plan for the future.
4、如果你要拥抱我请提前告诉我，我好把小肚子收起来。
If you want to hug me, please tell me in advance, so that I can put away my little belly.
5、天气预报明天有雨，大家出门记得带沐浴露。
The weather forecast says it will rain tomorrow. Please bring shower gel when you go out.
6、果冻我选喜之郎，恋爱选我不迷茫。
Jelly I choose Xi zhilang, love me not confused.
7、生活终于要对我这个小蛋糕加奶油啦。
Life is finally buttering my little cake.
8、今天的风好像会说话，他对我说：头给你拧掉。
Todays wind seems to be able to speak, he said to me: screw off your head.
9、我觉得，我这一辈子最灿烂的笑容都奉献给手机和电脑屏幕了。
I feel that the most brilliant smile of my life is dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.
10、我这个人啊，满身阴暗，还总想着给你一点阳光。
I am a person, full of darkness, and always want to give you a little sunshine.
11、你好，我是警察，因为太可爱被逮捕了，把手伸出来给我抓住。
Hello, Im a policeman. Ive been arrested because Im so cute. Put out your hand for me.
12、我是个平庸无趣的人，只有一点比较特别，特别喜欢你。
I am a mediocre boring person, only a bit more special, especially like you.
图片源自网络，侵权必删。
