我妈说：“别人家的孩子都是特别能吃苦，而我就只占了前面四个字，特别能吃”！
My mother said: "other peoples children are special can endure hardship, and I only occupied the first four words, special can eat"!
有一天，这世间万物都在争论谁最厉害，后来“金钱”站出来说了一句话，所有的一切都沉默不语了。
One day, everything in the world was arguing about who was the best, and then "money" stood up and said a word, and everything was silent.
每天早上起床，我都想说一句：“工作啊，虽然你得到了我肉体，但是你始终都得不到我的灵魂”，因为我的灵魂还在被窝里睡觉！
Every morning when I get up, I want to say: "Work, although you have my body, but you still can get my soul", because my soul is still sleeping under the quilt!
也不知道，你们小的时候喜不喜欢玩捉迷藏游戏，反正我是很喜欢的，因为每次等我弟藏好了的时候，我就可以把他的零食都吃光光。
I don know if you guys liked hide-and-seek when you were kids, but I liked it because Every time my brother hid, I could eat all his snacks.
时至今日，我真的很想问一问月老，请问他是不是早就把我的红线弄断了？
Up to now, I really want to ask the month old, excuse me, he has not broken my red line?
请问一个我用一个鸡蛋去撞另一个鸡蛋的话，那个鸡蛋会比较痛？答案：当然是母鸡比较痛啦，因为它的蛋碎了，肯定很痛。
Excuse me, I use an egg to hit another egg, that egg will be more painful? The answer: of course, the hen is more painful, because its eggs broken, must be very painful.
虽然我没有去过你的城市，但是我真的刷过你们那边的题啊！
Although I have not been to your city, but I really brush your side of the problem!
我这个人吧，最不喜欢的就是那些抠门的人，你说这一天天地，老是抠门，门肯定会烂掉的，真是太不懂得爱惜了。
I am a person, the most do not like those people, you say the day day, always dig a hole, the door will certainly rot away, it is too do not know how to cherish.
我告诉你，你不要总是看我平时老是对你一点儿也不关心的样子，其实我还在背后说过你很多的坏话。
I tell you, you should not always look at me usually do not care about you, in fact, I have said a lot of bad things about you behind your back.
昨天听说有一个人吃力麻婆的豆腐，然后就被麻婆追着满世界打。
Yesterday I heard that there was a man who was struggling to make tofu, and then he was chased all over the world by the mapper.
生活在这个世界上最可怕的你是被别人利用，而是你根本就没有用处。
The worst thing about you in this world is that you are used, but you are not useful at all.
今天我要郑重的告诉你们，我这个人不是贪财，只是我比较喜欢收集人民币罢了。
Today I want to solemnly tell you that I am not greedy, but I prefer to collect RMB.
请你不要和我比谁更懒，因为，我都懒得跟你比。
Please do not compare with me who is lazier, because, I am too lazy to compare with you.
做人嘛，要有良心，不要总是随意地就对别人说喜欢，然后还随意地把别人的心门打开又关上，你以为这是你家啊？
As a person, you should have a conscience. Don always say you like others casually, and then casually open and close the door of others heart. You think this is your home?
结语：我想，所谓的生活嘛，就是生下来就得要干活！
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