1、不要让我看见你，不然见一次喜欢一次。
Don let me see you, or Ill see you once. I like you once.
2、虫子飞到数学题旁边，看了眼题目，晕倒了。
The bug flew to the math problem. After looking at the problem, it fainted.
3、本来想在这次考试咸鱼翻身的，没想到粘锅了。
I wanted to make salted fish turn over in this exam, but it stuck to the pot.
4、我活得越来越不像自己了，像你老婆。
Im living less and less like myself, like your wife.
5、因为早上和被窝分手，现在被窝对我十分冰冷。
Because I broke up with the quilt in the morning, now the quilt is very cold to me.
6、她们说在喜欢的人面前会变笨，难道我喜欢上作业了？不可能啊！
They say they will be stupid in front of the people they like. Do I like homework? No way!
7、想挣钱的时候，每天路感觉都不通，全是红灯。花钱的时候，全是绿灯，一路畅通。
When I want to make money, I feel that the road is blocked every day. It is full of red lights. When it comes to spending money, its all green and the road is smooth.
8、第一次做饭，问我爸咋样，他说：“这盐炒得不错，有淡淡的蛋香。”
The first time I cooked, I asked my dad how it tasted, and he said, "you stir up the salt well, with a light smell of eggs."
9、你别打游戏了，去送外卖吧！你太能送了。
Don play games, you go to take out! You e such a good head giver.
10、你说要和我共白头，我染了你又说我非主流。
You said you wanted to share my hair, I dyed my hair, and you said I was not mainstream.
11、为什么心情不好的时候总会吃东西，因为伤心欲“嚼”
Why do you always eat when you are in a bad mood, because you want to chew when you are sad
12、你要是和别人玩够了，就回来，我一直在等你双排。
If youve had enough of playing with other people, come back. Ive been waiting for your double row.
13、买了个很贵的枕头，想让自己睡得香一点，已经失眠两天了，每天都在想买枕头用的花呗该怎么还。
I bought a very expensive pillow. I wanted to sleep soundly, but Ive been insomnia for two days. Ive been thinking about how to pay back ant credit pay for pillows every day.
14、善有善报，恶有恶报，你有我抱。
Good is rewarded with good, evil with evil, you have me.
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