听说这两种女孩子最可爱，一种是健忘的，另一种…我也忘了。
I heard that these two kinds of girls are the most lovely, one is forgetful, the other is…… I also forget.
闭关修炼计划了个plan 但因为lan 做了个p。
The retreat program plan but because lan made a p.
如果我有钱了，这句话我就不加如果了。
If I had money, I wouldn have done that.
你听过藏头诗吗？你泽尚通津，是阅京坻富。沙塞容颜尽，雕轩回翠陌。
Have you ever heard a Tibetan poem? You are Ze Shang Tong Jin, is read Jing Di Fu. Shassai face Yan, carving Xuan back to Cui Mo.
君子爱财，取之有道，这个道，是我不知道。
The gentleman loves the wealth, takes the Youdao, this way, is I do not know.
枯藤老树昏鸦，我和千玺回家
I went home with the seal.
去医院检查，医生一边写一边问：喝酒不？ 我一脸懵逼试探性地问：今晚吗？
Go to the hospital to check, the doctor writes while asking: drink? I asked tentatively: tonight?
有些人真的没有底线 ，在朋友圈评论连哈哈哈哈哈都要复制，你自己不会笑吗？
Some people really don have the bottom line, in the circle of friends comments even ha ha ha ha have to copy, you yourself?
女孩子千万别同居，刚刚我说午饭有点咸，刘昊然拿着锅铲就把我撵了出来了，鞋都没来得及穿，分手了，爱不爱太明显了。
Girls don live together, just I said lunch is a little salty, Liu Haoran with a pot shovel put me out, shoes did not have time to wear, broke up, love is too obvious?
有人说：你的眼睛里有星星 我说：那是隐形眼镜反光。
Someone said: There are stars in your eyes I said: Thats contact lens reflection.
想要星星月亮也就是给你端盆水的事儿。
Wanting the stars and the moon is what brings you water.
最近对女人没有什么兴趣，特别是美女，不相信的话可以给我推两个，我看看怎么个事。
I don have much interest in women recently, especially beautiful women, if you do n t believe it, you can push me two, Ill see whats going on.
【图源网络侵删】
